How I became a fulltime dad

Tony Maitland, 49, talks about making the transition from bushman to house husband – and how his small South Island community reacted to his new-age choice.

"It was 1996 when I was made redundant from the best job in the world – as a surveyor’s assistant for the Department of Lands and Survey. I was shattered. We used to helicopter in to all corners of the West Coast of the South Island and that was amazing. It was quite a ‘macho’ job – out in the bush in the middle of nowhere.

"My wife Diane was in a steady job in our home town of Hokitika so, by a twist of fate, my redundancy came at a good time for me to take over from our nanny, looking after six-month-old Lucretia, even though I didn’t think so at the time. Brandon was born two and a half years later. I am sure people thought I was completely mad – changing nappies, doing the washing and feeding the children. They didn’t think I’d last because I’d worked in the outback for so long. I’ve got to admit there were times when being at home did seem like a bit of a trap. But to get over the cabin-fever feeling, we’d make the eight-kilometre walk to town or go into the forestry blocks and collect firewood for some of the local oldies.

"Even though some of my former workmates found it strange, I actually think they were quite envious! I could go fishing whenever I wanted, on walks around our beautiful lakes – it was at my discretion where and when I went with the kids while those guys were prisoners to their work. I could also work on my jade-carving hobby.

"When I was a kid we used to love it when it rained and the lawns filled up with water. Mum would let us put our togs on and have fun for hours. Those opportunities haven’t gone anywhere, they’re just forgotten. Parents need to turn off computers and TV and enjoy the great outdoors more. Sunsets, swimming and walking are free. When I took the kids to the playground, I imagined people were looking out of their houses thinking I was an irresponsible dad. Especially the time my two-year-old son climbed a slide at a local playground and there were no guard rails. I was terrified he would fall off but decided to let him have a go at it. He had no nerves at all; cool as a cucumber. Boy, was I glad he went straight to the swings after successfully making the climb.

"My daughter had a habit of tipping her pumpkin and silverbeet over her head while she was in her high chair. But it can’t have done her much harm as she’s now a fantastic cook! Sometimes when I felt things were out of control in the house my father in-law would say, ‘Don’t worry how untidy things look, as long as the kids are happy’. Fifteen years later, I’m still here at home for my kids. My wife thinks it’s time I got a real job!

"Being there for our children has been a huge privilege... teaching them how to respect all people and treat them as equal, as taught by my parents to me. Wherever we go I am proud as punch that this opportunity came my way."

Interview by Rosalind Le Bas Walker.